To the Family and Friends of the Victims of the Orlando Shooting

To the Family and Friends of the Victims of the Orlando Shooting

By: David Zorkocy

      The tragedy in Orland Florida is too evil, too dark, and too vile to be put into words.  As a Christian and as an American I have always felt deeply for the victims of shootings, that have taken place over the years I have been alive, but as a gay American, this one holds a special kind of pain for me.  It's hard to explain.  The gay community is very tight nit.  We have endured so many of the same life experiences, the same struggles and the same joys that in many ways we are apart of a great family.  When something like this happens it's as if you have lost a part of your community, a part of your family.  You say to yourself "wow... that could have been me" or "I hope no one I know was visiting Orlando" It's very very real. 

  

      To be fully honest I didn't want to write this.  In fact even as I type I desire to close my laptop and go to bed, or play a game, or watch a movie... but I can't.  I have to cope with this in some way.  I can't pretend it didn't happen.  Because it did happen.  It happened to my community... to our community.  It happened in a place where I never imagined that I would have to be worried.  I have never feared going out to a club or bar... but I will now.  That makes me sad.  

      That is the nature of terror... to cause fear, to rob us of joy in our day to day life.  We aren't just fighting against terrorists, we are fighting to protect our peace... our way of life.  We must not bow to fear.  We must rise up against it.  Stand strong and push back.  We must reject any ideology or belief system that encourages violence against gays, against women, or against the American way of life.  We must do what America does best.  We must stand together and unite against homophobia, against violence, and against terrorists and their world views, that seek to undermine our freedom of self expression and to destroy us. 

   

      Despite this evil tragedy, I am encouraged by what I have seen in the aftermath.  For years we gays stood alone.  Criticized by everyone... slowly we built our community, to be safe among ourselves.  Then we made allies and slowly but steadily people began to see that we were not terrible people.  That gays have enriched culture and brought forth artists, and poets, architects and singers.  That gays had enriched so many peoples lives.  Some of our adversaries remained however and for years held back marriage equality and other issues.  Though this tragedy is sick and is a demonstration of every kind of evil, from its ashes I have seen a beautiful thing be born.  From one end of the world to the other people are standing with us.  From Republicans to Democrats people are standing with us.  Atheist to Christian people are standing with us.  For the first time in world history, the entire civilized world is standing with the gay community.  That I find to be a beautiful thing. 

     To the families and friends of those who died in Pulse that night... be encouraged.  The tragedy you are facing you may never fully recover from.  How can anyone heal from the loss of someone they love?  However, the pain will lessen in time.  In time, I hope you will come to realize that those who have fallen would not want you to feel pain.  They would want you to mourn for them, but then to heal.  To continue on with life, having learned so many life lessons that you can use to help others who have felt loss.  It is okay to cry, but you must not be defeated.  Also understand that though none of them went to Pulse that night with the intention of becoming a martyr... they are.  They have passed on and in doing so have united the planet in a way I have never seen to stand with us.  This will have ramifications for the rest of time.  This will change hearts and minds that might not have been changed before, and when those people have children who come out as gay they will be far more accepting of those children.  Which could help lower suicide among young gays in future generations. 

      I mourn with you... the whole world mourns with you.  You are never alone.  We will stand with  you against corrupted homophobic ideologies.  We will stand with you, we will pray with you, and we will not leave you.  Together we are stronger and now... we are very strong. 

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Columbus: The Magical City

 
Columbus

The Magical City

       Dear Columbus, Let me tell you a little bit about yourself.  I've never actually been to Columbus but it's on my list of potential places to move.  So I've done some research, and thought it would be fun for me to explain to the good people of Columbus what you guys look like to us on the outside.  To grade your PR if you will. So without further adieu... what Columbus looks like based completely off what the internet says about it.

Fun Fact Number One: The sun is always shining in Columbus.

... and I mean always. Upon Googling "Columbus Ohio Skyline" or even "Columbus Ohio" you can see that sunlight is always visible... even at night time the very city itself has a majestic glow. 

Fun Fact Number Two: There is no sin in Columbus...

at all... I once read an article about a Columbus preacher ordering a pizza and the church congregation took an offering and gave the pizza delivery lady a thousand dollar tip... The land is pure jolly. Except for the occasional mass murders.

Fun Fact Number Three: Ohio State is the official religion of Columbus.

No matter what God you worship in Columbus the primary God of everyone in the City is Ohio State.  In fact as a distant observer, I find it mildly frightening but hey whatever works for you. 

Fun Fact Number Four: The economy is apparently invincible.

So if you were to fly to Columbus, you would get off the plane and be greeted by a dozen beautiful women in exotic dresses and robes who would each offer you a different job opportunity to choose from.  From what the internet whispers to me you have jobs on top of jobs. 

Fun Fact Number Five:  Apparently a monkey escaped from the zoo known as the "Minerva Monkey" and he has a very sassy Twitter page. He followed me back... we are practically best buddies at this point. There is room for all of Columbus' animals... right next to the mashed potatoes.

Fun Fact Number Six: Columbus is a great place to "sow your oats"
I hear there is a great night life. Good bar scene. Good restaurant scene. It's just an overall great place to spend your twenties. #YOLO

Fun Fact Number Seven: Your Pride Parades are legendary.  The gays from all across the land make a holy pilgrimage to the sacred city of Columbus to celebrate equality and be overly happy!  It's wonderful!

Fun Fact Number Eight: The rent is hella low.  Which I think is probably one of the best qualities of Columbus.  As a young man looking for a place to live, affordability is quite important to me.  And you guys are on top of it.  Columbus be like...

 

           So overall I rank Columbus at a A+ Keep up the good work awesome people!! You are making Ohio proud.  

  You can follow me on Facebook by clicking here or you can follow my Facebook page Make Ohio Great Again for all the recent updates, pictures, and fun facts about the Beautiful state of Ohio.  Also don't forget to hit follow on this blog for future posts! Thank you all for reading and have a wonderful day!  

Legalize Marijuana in Ohio.

        Today is the day. November 3rd. We as Ohioans have a huge decision before us. Yes I am of course talking about issue 3 Marijuana legalization. I don't smoke pot or have any desire, yet I realize the vast importance of this issue to us as a state. Before I make my argument I am working under the assumption you want America to be great. Ohio is the heart of America and no country can be great with a sick heart. So we must work to make Ohio great. Legalization will be incredibly good for Ohio. Our prisons are over crowded with people who simply should not be there. They have harmed no one and we live in a free country. You can't truly say you are free if you don't even have control over what you put in your own body. but diminishing the financial strain on our state by our prisons is only a small piece.
        Those who have been arrested for non-violent offenses are still labeled as a felon, then released into a world where it's near impossible to get a job, as a felon. People can't be productive and successful if they are unable to find employment because of a felony. Our work force is sick and we have an opportunity to make it better.
        If legalized Ohio will gain 30.000 jobs, 30,000 good paying jobs. More jobs means the state is healthier. The state of Colorado created over 70 million dollars in tax revenue in the first year alone. Keep in mind that the first year the industry was just being established for the first half. We are literally creating a whole new industry. These jobs aren't being imported from somewhere else, they are being created, wealth is being created. New jobs to help Ohioans find work. It's a several hundred million dollar industry in Colorado and the state as a whole prospers from this extra revenue enormously! Ohio is beautiful and prosperous and wonderful, but I want to see it rise to the top. To see it prosper like never before. To do so we need a strong and diverse economy. Legalization will add strength and diversity to our economy, as well as create 1,100 new businesses in our state.
        Let's be very real. We have outlawed marijuana for decades and it's now our number 1 grown cash crop. The industry is there and it's alive and well. Legalization will destroy the criminal aspect by taking out the black markets and drug lords, while at the same time implementing a safe, and regulated business enterprise. We have an opportunity here An opportunity to destroy crime, to show compassion and not imprison people for using their own bodies how they choose, and to grow, and I mean REALLY grow the Ohio economy. This is in my opinion, a deciding issue. A issue in which we decide to embrace an economy of huge growth and welcome new commerce into our beautiful state, or to continue on with the status quo and wait to legalize at a later time and miss out on the huge and great opportunity that is before us. Yes issue 3 is about Marijuana legalization, but it's also about so much more. It's about Ohio and what we can do for her. I will be voting for increased personal liberty and economic freedom, as well as voting for our states continued prosperity. I will be voting yes on issue 3.

To Grow Up is to Die Inside

     It is my firm belief that to grow up is to die inside.  We are told all our young lives that when we are older we will understand. When we are older then we will see how foolish our beliefs are. When we grow up we will see that one person can't really change the world.
     What they are really saying is that when we grow up we will end up as submissive and complacent as everyone else.  We will give up on our dreams. As small children we are taught that we can do whatever we want. If you want to be President then you can! If you want to be a professional football player then you can! If you want to be a movie star then you can!  Then as we grow older these same people who built us up with such dreams and hope are the same ones who will say "Well the odds of you becoming the President are so small.  Maybe a Doctor?" "It's like.... impossible to be a professional sports player... maybe you could like... be an accountant or something..." "Oh those movie stars... you can only become famous if you know someone... it's all luck. You'll never be able to do it."  Slowly but steadily our dreams that we are born with and encouraged to follow as children become warn and eroded away.  By the end of high school most people have written off their dreams in order to follow the money. Again, the very people, who tell their kids that money can't buy happiness, will tell their children not to follow their dreams, in order to follow a job, that won't make them happy but will make them money.
     Those who dare to follow their dreams are looked at as unrealistic and wasting their time... looked at as childish.  People mistake pessimism for realism.  To be positive is to be a fool to the average. The average are stuck in their little lives, not because they can't change but because they don't believe that they could ever grow and be extraordinary, in truth anyone can be extra ordinary! No matter how old someone is or over weight, or ugly, or where they live, or how rich their family was.... no matter what... Anyone can grow and become extra ordinary and it's never too late to accomplish a dream! People try hard to bring these people down because they haven't fallen into the status quo of being average.
     Society is void of passion, something young people have in abundance and passion can be a great tool for change.  In my own life, it was not until I became passionate about losing weight and believed in myself, that I was finally able to lose over 40 pounds.  It was not until I became passionate about moving out and following my dreams that I began to work hard to grow up a savings.  Passion is a tool to helps people grow.  The Average lack the passion required to change and grow, because they stripped out of themselves the ability to believe in themselves.  They don't understand it anymore and when they see you doing it they will try to strip it from you too. No one likes to be reminded about how average they are, and when you are near someone who is growing, whether its in fitness, in mind, body, spirit, or wealth, they seek to destroy this growth.  Usually not even knowingly.  Do not allow yourself to lose your passion. It is the delivery force that will take you to a better life. Don't destroy it... use it.
     Pessimism is not realism... I can not say this enough.  Pessimism will become your realism if you want it to. If you continually speak negativity and believe it can never get better then that's exactly what will happen to you. You will never take a chance.  You will never work hard for a better tomorrow so a better tomorrow will never come.  The Bible says "Faith moves mountains" in the same regard, a lack of faith moves absolutely nothing.
     Optimism is not naivete.  To be optimistic is to believe in a better future.  If you believe your life can get better then you will be willing to work for that better future.  When you dare to believe in a  dream and when you apply your passion to it, you will work very hard to get there.  It may not be easy but you will get much closer trying than to not try.  I think of that crazy driver on the road.  Sometimes they weave in and out of traffic and drive recklessly and all of us average drivers judge them.  Sometimes after all of their work we both get caught at the same red light and they are only one car ahead of us.  We get a sick pleasure from it, but at the same time they used to be behind us and now they are in front even if it's just one car.  If they are always working with this much determination before long these small amounts... these one care amounts, will put them miles ahead of the rest of us average boring drivers.  We need to be like the crazy driver. Not literally of course, obey the road laws, tickets don't help anyone reach their dreams ;) but figuratively we  need to give it our all, and when people look at us like we are crazy we should delight in their judgement, because as much as they might delight when we get caught by the red light we are still ahead and if we continue to work hard we can move ahead slowly but steadily.  Half the fun of following a dream is the road there.  Don't give up because you get caught at a few red lights.
     Excuses are never ending. You can spend your life one of two ways.  On one hand you can be a downright blacksmith of excuses.  I know some of these people... I've been this person.  The kind that always has not only a good excuse but a good story to go along with the excuse and yes I have receipts!  Or you can be the person who I strive to be, the person who delivers the story about the great struggle that arose to hold you back but you overcame it through passion fueled hard work and determination and then show them the results, your progress, your victory.  Show them those receipts.
     No matter what your dream is you can achieve it. You want to be President then start getting involved in politics and never give up.  You want to be a pro football player... then get working out and practicing.  You want to be a celebrity. Get involved in local theater, start a YouTube channel or blog, move to LA or New York... there are SO MANY options for you.  What is most important is to never give up on your dreams. It doesn't matter how far away it is.  A single step in the right direction is a step closer than you used to be.  It doesn't matter what obstacles are holding you back or where you came from... it only matters where you are going.  So keep following that dream and never surrender.
    If you aren't following your dream then you are accepting defeat.  Accepting that some day you will be on your death bed and never followed your dreams. Never did the things you wanted to... why? Because of money.  Money is only paper.  Don't let it hold you back from what you can do.  If that's where growing up will take me then I don't ever wish to grow up! You only live once.  So do the things you want to do.  Don't just be alive but truly deeply and fully live!  You won't regret it.  Don't allow yourself to be complacent and if you already have then stop!  You are so much better than this.  Encourage others to follow their dreams and follow them yourself.  Fear will try to hold you back... smite it down with all the power of Zeus lightning bolt!  Grow!! Be a better you today than you were yesterday!  Every day strive to grow and never lose site of where you are going... of your dream... never stop believing, never give up... never grow up.

If you've enjoyed this uplifting post and would like to see more positive posts, as well as an abundance of selfies then check me out on Facebook Here.

Outlive Suicide!

          I would like to talk to everyone today on the topic of suicide.  Before I begin this I would like to clarify that I don't have a degree in anything remotely related to mental conditions, in fact I have no degree at all.  I don't write to you as a professional, as someone who has studied mental conditions for years and claims to know everything about how the brain works. I write to you as someone who spent years struggling with suicidal depression. I write to you as someone who has experienced the evil of suicidal depression. As someone who has Outlived Suicide!
          To me suicide isn't just a word. It isn't just a condition I've studied... it's almost like a relationship. A sick and demented relationship. It's almost as though suicide is a part of me or at least my past. Like a close lover in a ill relationship.  I recall my first instance of suicidal thoughts. In 7th grade, up late, staring at my reflection in the mirror telling myself over and over again "You're ugly" and "If your parents knew you were gay they wouldn't love you" tears streaming down my face as I considered drowning myself, considered over dosing, considered hanging myself considered any possible way to end my life. Because no one would ever love me for me. For how I was exactly. I went to a very conservative Christian school, that stressed heavily that gays were an "abomination" The students at the school were particularly vicious. I don't wish to repeat the things that I heard day in and day out as I lived through that hell, and at home my family was equally not accepting.  At church my Youth pastor told me I was going to Hell, and I believed her... I thought about it sometimes, many times... but how... how could hell be any worse than what I was already living?  People kept telling me that I needed to not be gay and I needed to just ask Jesus to make me not gay, and I did... many times but no matter how hard I tried to pray away the gay it never went away, because God made me this way. How could God make someone one way and then tell them not to be that way, and that if he was he would go to Hell... No. God doesn't make people wrong.
          Now take into account that I was extremely overweight and extremely hairy and had absolutely terrible acne that would not heal no matter what I tried. Over all I was destroyed.  I stayed like this for years being destroyed and ripped down every day first by those around me and then by myself as they taught me how to think of myself.
          Then there were my "friends" people who supported me and always had my back... until I wasn't around then my back was the very place they'd put the knife. I developed so much trust issues. How could I trust people at all. People tell me that I "shouldn't be sad" but gave me every reason to be. I became bitter and resentful. It wasn't until a friend of mine sent me a link to an article about how God might not hate gays that my life began to change. I read the article... it was very large but it was very good. It systematically dismantled all the arguments conservatives use to describe why the Bible was supposedly anti-gay. I read it greedily. For the first time in my life I had read something, on the topic of God and gays, that made sense. It took me a long time before I could believe that God didn't hate gays because of how long I had been programmed to believe that He did. From there on out my belief in God grew stronger and stronger and I started to realize that just because everyone says one thing doesn't mean it's true. Sometimes you are write and everyone else really is wrong. Everyone said I was going to Hell... but they were wrong. They said that God hates gays... but God doesn't hate anyone. If they could be wrong about such obvious things then maybe they were wrong about other things.
          By the time I had reached Senior year I took very few of my fellow class mates seriously and they knew it, which made them dislike me more. They thought I was evil, I knew they were just crazy brainwashed hateful children, who would have a very rude awakening when the reached the real world. However I was still alone. At that point in my life I wanted a boyfriend so badly that I would get sick with depression because I believed I could find joy in another person and without another person I would be empty forever. I had regular suicidal thoughts from 7th grade till probably a year after graduation.
          Once I graduated so much changed. It was beautiful. So many middle schoolers and high schoolers get so depressed thinking there is nothing beyond highs school... but there is.  Looking back I find high school is one of the biggest jokes that I ever had to go through. I know you may be reading this thinking that you are not going to be able to make it through high school or through middle school because graduation seems so far away, and life is a living hell every day.  I was there. I went to counseling in 10th grade because I was a wreck and everyone knew it. I would have random break downs where I would just start balling my eyes out in the hall way for no reason... or at least... no reason I could say because to admit you are gay at the school I went to would merit immediate expulsion, and I didn't want that on my record.  People knew I was but I always had to pretend I wasn't.  It's hard to pretend you're someone you aren't every day.
          After graduation I left and didn't look back for years. I was bitter and jaded. So very jaded. It wasn't until a few years that I was able to forgive those who hurt me. Several of my former classmates have messaged me to tell me how sorry they are for how they treated me and it warmed my heart so much. It was such a blessing. I still struggle to forgive sometimes but it's been several years now and it's almost like that was a different life entirely. All the hurt and the struggle that I went through then is now but a distant memory slowly sinking deeper and deeper into the back recesses of my mind. So next time you feel like you can't make it... remember someday the struggle of today will be nothing but a faded memory and you will be so much happier.  I spent years of my life crying myself to sleep. I spent years of my life jaded and hurting, thinking that God Himself hated me, years of my life... wanting so badly... to die.... but I'm so glad I lived... let me tell you why.
I graduated. I was free and I never spoke to most of those terrible people again.  That horrible horrible dark chapter of my life was over, just as this dark chapter of yours will be over. About 2 months later I got my first boyfriend. Now I am currently single... and I am SO HAPPY. I found out that I actually enjoy being single. Both my parents know and though they might not love it 100% they both still love me 100%. I have lost over 40 pounds and counting. Got rid of the body hair, Acne finally went away! *Thanks Jesus* My confidence is high. The last day of high school a group of younger students admitted to me that they were gay and bisexual and they told me how much I inspired them and now I even have a online following of a few thousand people who look up to me for inspiration... I inspire people with my life... what better way to live! You too can inspire! but you have to live! Live to be the person in the world that you needed to be there for you. By living you could save others lives. All these struggles... they are completely temporary. You have to outlive your trials because they make you stronger and if you refuse to be bitter they will make you beautiful as well.  Don't just live but be alive.
          Oh and just to clarify if there is any confusion GOD LOVES EVERYONE! INCLUDING GAYS!!! If anyone ever says God doesn't love anyone whether specifically or a group of people, automatically assume this person doesn't know their Bible no matter how much they may claim they do.  No matter how many verses they can quote they still don't know the nature of who God is. God is love!
          Be proud of who you are... and know that no matter what lies others have told you... or you've told yourself, you ARE important and ARE beautiful and you ARE needed! Never ever ever ever give up on your dreams, or your ambitions or on yourself. Outlive suicide!


Below is the number for the Trevor Project. An organization that offers help and support to those who need help but have nowhere else to turn. They have counselors standing by 24/7 Don't be afraid to call. It could save your life and remember. You ARE important and ARE loved! 866-488-7386


Thank you so much for reading. My name is David and I am a blogger. You can follow me for progress here on my fan page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl
or follow me on Tumblr at: http://davidzorkboy.tumblr.com/

What it takes to be an inspiration.

     I've never really considered myself to be an inspiration. I'm pretty much an average guy. I have talents but don't really have a clue what to do with them. In many ways I'm a lost soul searching for meaning and purpose. Searching very hard.... I suppose I should start a few months back.... A few years actually.

      In high school I was the one who everyone thought would be famous some day. Everyone thought I would be on Broadway a year after high school... but it was not meant to be. There I was a year and a half after high school with nothing. I had a dead end job and no car... I didn't even have my drivers licence, I was very over weight and had no drive to get in shape. I was so very very lost. I was hurting and felt like I had lost all my spark, all my zest for life was gone. Slowly but steadily extinguished. Ripped away from me slowly by everyone and everything around me. I was besieged by people talking about "The real world" and "When you grow up things change" and I found myself starting to believe these voices. Believing them that the only way to live was to live like everyone said. To be a lowly servant. People would talk about great people as "The exception to the rule, not the rule" and I believed it... and I died. Not literally but figuratively. My love of life was slowly crushed under "The real world" and the people "Just being realistic" and my light was extinguished. I became what I swore I never would be... normal... basic... average.... I was destroyed.

     ...but things changed....

     I asked myself "What makes these great people the exception? Why can't I be the exception?" and I realized I can be... I realized that ANYONE can be.  What makes them the exception is that they are exceptional.  No one is born exceptional at anything... All the truly greats have to practice. 

     So there I was sitting there playing a computer game wasting away... rotting... my brain, my body and my spirit eroding and I asked my mom (who is the most beautiful of all people ever. I love her more than life itself) if I was wasting my life... and she dodged the question. I wasn't even the slightest bit upset with my mom, she was honest in her dodging of the question.  I didn't get depressed. I decided to change. To stop wasting my time. I closed my laptop and decided I would change... but I didn't know what to do. It was late at night I couldn't go practice driving or buy a car or get promoted at work... all I really had control over in that moment was my physical body. 

     I decided to lose weight. That night I spent over 5 hours on my exercise bike... which prior to that made a great clothes rack... but I put it to use with its actual purpose. A few days later I told my mom I was doing a "no carb diet" which was in reality a diet of  no breads, no pastas and pretty much no grains of any kind.  It was so hard. I wanted to give up but in the course of the following months I started to lose weight. I watched as I slowly but steadily dropped 45 pounds. 

     My confidence started to grow. I could feel the spark coming back. I looked in the mirror and was proud of what I saw. It felt so good and I decided my time had come... that I had spent too much time sulking and withering. It was time to grow.  With my confidence raised I took my drivers test for the 4th time and this time I passed!!!!! A few months later I bought a car in cash and that felt good too. I realized that in the course of less than a year I went from a failure to completing all of my life goals I had set. It felt good.

     I wasn't doing any of this for attention. I didn't want pats on the back and compliments... although I certainly won't refuse them ;) haha.... but people started to give them.  People would tell me about what kind of an inspiration I was. People told me how I motivated them, how I inspired them to better themselves and I was so confused.  As much as my self image had improved I still saw myself as flawed and broken.  The pieces had started to come together but were only tied together by a loose thread at best. I am so far from my goals but I'm still pushing myself and that's all that matters.

     I found myself pushing myself even harder.  Not to live for other people or impress them but to not let them down and the harder I tried the more people seemed to be inspired.  

     It then occurred to me. It occurred to me what it was that made people feel inspired. It occurred what it was that made the exceptional people the exception to the rule. It wasn't talent or fame or money (although between us those things do help... I'm just saying) but it was the work.  The hard work day in and day out. I realized that at the core of every person telling me that I inspired them was that they were impressed by my hard work and wished they could do it.... but they can.  I realized that everyone has the power to be exceptional. I am nothing special. I am no great man. I'm just a man who decided to work for something.  I was lost and broken.... so very very broken but I decided to fix myself and I worked for it.

     Anyone can do it! You can do it! I believe in you 100% You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  Trust me when I say I am one of the laziest people you ever met but I found the desire, the ambition for greatness. That ambition is in you still. Maybe you have been told for years that you can't, that you are nothing special and you are just the average person, you aren't the exception to the rule... you are the rule.... BUT YOU AREN'T!!! You might be now but you can change that in an instant. In an instant you can close your lap top and get exercising like I did, or you can practice a talent you always wanted to master or you can finish reading that book, or heal a broken relationship. Trust me when I say what you can accomplish is endless, it has no boundaries! You are strong and beautiful and amazing and I know that you can be great in every way. 

     So what does it take to inspire? To decide to change, to work hard at it, and to not give up! Even the smallest step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction.  There is no such thing as a small accomplishment if it is big to you! Baby steps if you have to... just keep stepping... keep walking and I'll see you on the path to greatness! I'll be expecting you!


You can follow my own personal journey here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl 

Why Closeted Men Make The Worst Homophobes.

Ever wonder why the men who attack gays the most always seem to be gay in the end?  It doesn't seem to make sense at quick glance. Why would a gay man, whether he is out and proud, or in the closet hate another man for being gay?  The answer is fairly simple actually.
 Let us pretend there are two men deciding about their sexuality. We shall name them Dan and Greg. In one case, Greg accepts his sexuality and decides to move forward as a gay man.  He goes on to love himself just the way he is.  He has several boyfriends over the years and eventually a husband. He is happy and productive.  Dan is the man who decides that he can't accept that he is gay and decides to fight it, to bury it deep within him.  He goes on to find a wife and have children all this time trying to convince himself that he is happy, and that he likes women, when in reality... He hates himself, and can't even tell his wife why... because he hates his secret gay side so much.
Then one day the two of them meet.  Dan finds Greg exceptionally attractive but can't pursue it because they are both married... and Dan is "Straight" So instead of Dan being happy for Greg. Dan gets angry.  Angry that he can't be like Greg.  That he can't find a husband and marry him because that would mean he has to come out of the closet.  Dan's entire life and identity is threatened by the very existence of Greg.  Dan knew that he can't have the life Greg has.  In fact if he even accepts Greg's way of life as acceptable that would mean that all of his pain and work was for nothing.  If it's indeed okay to be gay then why did Dan spend all this time and effort trying so hard to be straight... unless... being gay is evil.. and it's wrong... yes that's it!! If being gay is evil and wrong then I am being the better person by not being gay... I am against Greg and all those like him.
Then before you know it. Dan starts spinning on a spiral of judgement and hatred for Greg when all Greg did was simply exist.  Greg's happiness was a direct threat to the fake happiness that Dan had created for himself.
The same exists for other closeted gay men.  They are threatened by the happiness that gay men have that are honest with themselves about who they are.
So how do we fight this hatred?  Like all hatred you fight it with love.  These men will come again and again to try to stop you.  They will come at you over and over trying to break you.  You must not let them break you, and you must strive to love them.  Love conquers hate.  Hatred can never destroy more hatred, only love is strong enough to break hates cold chains that shackle people to destruction.
Remember that at the base of hatred is fear.  These men are afraid of you. Afraid that you will get what they never can. Joy.  So hold on to that joy and move forward.. never let them take it from you. Love yourself and never give up.  You are strong and wonderful and no one can make you hate yourself unless you let them.  Keep your chin up and live loud and proud.
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