What it takes to be an inspiration.

     I've never really considered myself to be an inspiration. I'm pretty much an average guy. I have talents but don't really have a clue what to do with them. In many ways I'm a lost soul searching for meaning and purpose. Searching very hard.... I suppose I should start a few months back.... A few years actually.

      In high school I was the one who everyone thought would be famous some day. Everyone thought I would be on Broadway a year after high school... but it was not meant to be. There I was a year and a half after high school with nothing. I had a dead end job and no car... I didn't even have my drivers licence, I was very over weight and had no drive to get in shape. I was so very very lost. I was hurting and felt like I had lost all my spark, all my zest for life was gone. Slowly but steadily extinguished. Ripped away from me slowly by everyone and everything around me. I was besieged by people talking about "The real world" and "When you grow up things change" and I found myself starting to believe these voices. Believing them that the only way to live was to live like everyone said. To be a lowly servant. People would talk about great people as "The exception to the rule, not the rule" and I believed it... and I died. Not literally but figuratively. My love of life was slowly crushed under "The real world" and the people "Just being realistic" and my light was extinguished. I became what I swore I never would be... normal... basic... average.... I was destroyed.

     ...but things changed....

     I asked myself "What makes these great people the exception? Why can't I be the exception?" and I realized I can be... I realized that ANYONE can be.  What makes them the exception is that they are exceptional.  No one is born exceptional at anything... All the truly greats have to practice. 

     So there I was sitting there playing a computer game wasting away... rotting... my brain, my body and my spirit eroding and I asked my mom (who is the most beautiful of all people ever. I love her more than life itself) if I was wasting my life... and she dodged the question. I wasn't even the slightest bit upset with my mom, she was honest in her dodging of the question.  I didn't get depressed. I decided to change. To stop wasting my time. I closed my laptop and decided I would change... but I didn't know what to do. It was late at night I couldn't go practice driving or buy a car or get promoted at work... all I really had control over in that moment was my physical body. 

     I decided to lose weight. That night I spent over 5 hours on my exercise bike... which prior to that made a great clothes rack... but I put it to use with its actual purpose. A few days later I told my mom I was doing a "no carb diet" which was in reality a diet of  no breads, no pastas and pretty much no grains of any kind.  It was so hard. I wanted to give up but in the course of the following months I started to lose weight. I watched as I slowly but steadily dropped 45 pounds. 

     My confidence started to grow. I could feel the spark coming back. I looked in the mirror and was proud of what I saw. It felt so good and I decided my time had come... that I had spent too much time sulking and withering. It was time to grow.  With my confidence raised I took my drivers test for the 4th time and this time I passed!!!!! A few months later I bought a car in cash and that felt good too. I realized that in the course of less than a year I went from a failure to completing all of my life goals I had set. It felt good.

     I wasn't doing any of this for attention. I didn't want pats on the back and compliments... although I certainly won't refuse them ;) haha.... but people started to give them.  People would tell me about what kind of an inspiration I was. People told me how I motivated them, how I inspired them to better themselves and I was so confused.  As much as my self image had improved I still saw myself as flawed and broken.  The pieces had started to come together but were only tied together by a loose thread at best. I am so far from my goals but I'm still pushing myself and that's all that matters.

     I found myself pushing myself even harder.  Not to live for other people or impress them but to not let them down and the harder I tried the more people seemed to be inspired.  

     It then occurred to me. It occurred to me what it was that made people feel inspired. It occurred what it was that made the exceptional people the exception to the rule. It wasn't talent or fame or money (although between us those things do help... I'm just saying) but it was the work.  The hard work day in and day out. I realized that at the core of every person telling me that I inspired them was that they were impressed by my hard work and wished they could do it.... but they can.  I realized that everyone has the power to be exceptional. I am nothing special. I am no great man. I'm just a man who decided to work for something.  I was lost and broken.... so very very broken but I decided to fix myself and I worked for it.

     Anyone can do it! You can do it! I believe in you 100% You are much stronger than you give yourself credit for.  Trust me when I say I am one of the laziest people you ever met but I found the desire, the ambition for greatness. That ambition is in you still. Maybe you have been told for years that you can't, that you are nothing special and you are just the average person, you aren't the exception to the rule... you are the rule.... BUT YOU AREN'T!!! You might be now but you can change that in an instant. In an instant you can close your lap top and get exercising like I did, or you can practice a talent you always wanted to master or you can finish reading that book, or heal a broken relationship. Trust me when I say what you can accomplish is endless, it has no boundaries! You are strong and beautiful and amazing and I know that you can be great in every way. 

     So what does it take to inspire? To decide to change, to work hard at it, and to not give up! Even the smallest step in the right direction is still a step in the right direction.  There is no such thing as a small accomplishment if it is big to you! Baby steps if you have to... just keep stepping... keep walking and I'll see you on the path to greatness! I'll be expecting you!


You can follow my own personal journey here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl 

Why Closeted Men Make The Worst Homophobes.

Ever wonder why the men who attack gays the most always seem to be gay in the end?  It doesn't seem to make sense at quick glance. Why would a gay man, whether he is out and proud, or in the closet hate another man for being gay?  The answer is fairly simple actually.
 Let us pretend there are two men deciding about their sexuality. We shall name them Dan and Greg. In one case, Greg accepts his sexuality and decides to move forward as a gay man.  He goes on to love himself just the way he is.  He has several boyfriends over the years and eventually a husband. He is happy and productive.  Dan is the man who decides that he can't accept that he is gay and decides to fight it, to bury it deep within him.  He goes on to find a wife and have children all this time trying to convince himself that he is happy, and that he likes women, when in reality... He hates himself, and can't even tell his wife why... because he hates his secret gay side so much.
Then one day the two of them meet.  Dan finds Greg exceptionally attractive but can't pursue it because they are both married... and Dan is "Straight" So instead of Dan being happy for Greg. Dan gets angry.  Angry that he can't be like Greg.  That he can't find a husband and marry him because that would mean he has to come out of the closet.  Dan's entire life and identity is threatened by the very existence of Greg.  Dan knew that he can't have the life Greg has.  In fact if he even accepts Greg's way of life as acceptable that would mean that all of his pain and work was for nothing.  If it's indeed okay to be gay then why did Dan spend all this time and effort trying so hard to be straight... unless... being gay is evil.. and it's wrong... yes that's it!! If being gay is evil and wrong then I am being the better person by not being gay... I am against Greg and all those like him.
Then before you know it. Dan starts spinning on a spiral of judgement and hatred for Greg when all Greg did was simply exist.  Greg's happiness was a direct threat to the fake happiness that Dan had created for himself.
The same exists for other closeted gay men.  They are threatened by the happiness that gay men have that are honest with themselves about who they are.
So how do we fight this hatred?  Like all hatred you fight it with love.  These men will come again and again to try to stop you.  They will come at you over and over trying to break you.  You must not let them break you, and you must strive to love them.  Love conquers hate.  Hatred can never destroy more hatred, only love is strong enough to break hates cold chains that shackle people to destruction.
Remember that at the base of hatred is fear.  These men are afraid of you. Afraid that you will get what they never can. Joy.  So hold on to that joy and move forward.. never let them take it from you. Love yourself and never give up.  You are strong and wonderful and no one can make you hate yourself unless you let them.  Keep your chin up and live loud and proud.
Thank you for the read. If you enjoyed this post and want to see more like it please follow me.  Also you can follow my own personal journey here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491

What is Cute Gay Couples?

Cute Gay Couples is a Facebook page dedicated to the promotion of healthy same sex relationships, and the joy that can be found there in.  It is also  a place where there is joy in abundance and a strong feeling of love and acceptance is evident in every post.  My name is David Zorkocy. I am the creator of the Cute Gay Couples page on Facebook.
I created "Cute Gay Couples" when I was a teenager.  I grew up in a very conservative home and was sent to a very conservative private school, where I was told I would be expelled if they learned I was gay. I struggled with extreme depression for years.  I had no outlet and very little support structure. It occur to me that there were many others in a similar situation.  Alone, feeling unloved by those closest to them, their friends and family.  I sought to create a page where people could go for encouragement or simply to see happy couples.  Often I was told that same sex relationships are dirty and perverted.  I knew that in many circles this lie was repeated regularly and I sought to point it out as the fallacy that it is.
When I created "Cute Gay Couples" there was almost immediate growth.  What started out as simply my outlet to be gay, quickly grew into a small community.  A community of loving caring homosexuals who all had one thing in common. They wanted a relationship... the lie that all gays only care about sex and do not care about relationships, was shattered, at least for me.  Once I graduated from high school I began my own personal journey of healing from the treatment of a very anti-gay crowd. I was bitter and angry.  The only way I found to eventually heal was to bury myself in love. Forgiving those who had treated me so terribly and striving to love them was my goal. I admit it is still a journey but I am well on my way.  As this love grew up in me, it began to spill over onto the page.
Cute Gay Couples quickly grew into a large community of caring loving people.  I was confused at first about why the page started to grow so quickly but I soon learned it was the love that was in every post, whether it was in the adoring smiles and looks of passion in the couples eyes, or the posts of encouragement that are posted on a regular basis. People could sense the love and they loved it.
The concept of a loving and monogamous relationship is in no way a heterosexual right.  In the conservative circles I was raised in I was taught that marriage is between one man and one woman.   I was told that homosexuals were living in sin and were incapable of loving the same way that a straight married couple would.  I found this concept hard to believe because I knew that I did like men in the same way my straight counterparts liked women.  I couldn't believe that I was the only gay man who wanted to find his soul mate and fall deeply in love, and be swept off his feet.  I guess at this point you figured out I am kind of a hopeless romantic.  I was not going to let this lie continue. I was going to find love and I was going to make sure that everyone knew that homosexual love is just as pure as heterosexual love.
If there is one thing I have learned it is that being alone is only part of the journey, and that part of the journey will end.  I was alone in high school.  I was alone in my church. I was single. I felt God did not love me. I was at times alone in my own home.  I was alone in my own life, trapped in what seemed to be a cage.  An endless maze of loneliness.  Yet now I am out of high school.  I am more open at church.  My family knows I am gay and though they are still getting used to it they still love me. I learned that my God loves me no matter my sexuality.  I am still single but that's cause I am not done with my journey,in that regard.  Love is a beautiful thing. It can't be rushed. It comes when it chooses and when it does it takes hold of the loneliness, the hurt, and the fear and wipes it away.  Leaving only hope for the future and an abundance of joy.
I can not describe the joy that I see on the faces of the couples that submit pictures to my page.  It is beyond words.  It is worth the wait for sure.  That is where I am... the wait.  That's where many are but when the wait is over the reward is so beautiful.  To have someone love you with all their heart and to love them with all of yours.  It is truly magic.  This magic is for all people, no exclusions.  So if you are currently feeling alone.  Think of me. I made it out so can you. People say it gets better... I disagree... it gets awesome!!  I look forward to the day that I can post a picture of me and my future boyfriend on my page but until that day I shall wait.  I shall wait with a joy in my heart and a love for both my friends and for those who have hurt me.
If you guys would like to follow the cute gay couples you may do that here: https://www.facebook.com/CuteGayCouples?ref=hl or to follow my own personal journey here is a link to that: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl  Thank you all for reading my article and I hope every single one of you has a joyful and beautiful day! God bless you all and much love from me to you!