Ever wonder why the men who attack gays the most always seem to be gay in the end? It doesn't seem to make sense at quick glance. Why would a gay man, whether he is out and proud, or in the closet hate another man for being gay? The answer is fairly simple actually.
Let us pretend there are two men deciding about their sexuality. We shall name them Dan and Greg. In one case, Greg accepts his sexuality and decides to move forward as a gay man. He goes on to love himself just the way he is. He has several boyfriends over the years and eventually a husband. He is happy and productive. Dan is the man who decides that he can't accept that he is gay and decides to fight it, to bury it deep within him. He goes on to find a wife and have children all this time trying to convince himself that he is happy, and that he likes women, when in reality... He hates himself, and can't even tell his wife why... because he hates his secret gay side so much.
Then one day the two of them meet. Dan finds Greg exceptionally attractive but can't pursue it because they are both married... and Dan is "Straight" So instead of Dan being happy for Greg. Dan gets angry. Angry that he can't be like Greg. That he can't find a husband and marry him because that would mean he has to come out of the closet. Dan's entire life and identity is threatened by the very existence of Greg. Dan knew that he can't have the life Greg has. In fact if he even accepts Greg's way of life as acceptable that would mean that all of his pain and work was for nothing. If it's indeed okay to be gay then why did Dan spend all this time and effort trying so hard to be straight... unless... being gay is evil.. and it's wrong... yes that's it!! If being gay is evil and wrong then I am being the better person by not being gay... I am against Greg and all those like him.
Then before you know it. Dan starts spinning on a spiral of judgement and hatred for Greg when all Greg did was simply exist. Greg's happiness was a direct threat to the fake happiness that Dan had created for himself.
The same exists for other closeted gay men. They are threatened by the happiness that gay men have that are honest with themselves about who they are.
So how do we fight this hatred? Like all hatred you fight it with love. These men will come again and again to try to stop you. They will come at you over and over trying to break you. You must not let them break you, and you must strive to love them. Love conquers hate. Hatred can never destroy more hatred, only love is strong enough to break hates cold chains that shackle people to destruction.
Remember that at the base of hatred is fear. These men are afraid of you. Afraid that you will get what they never can. Joy. So hold on to that joy and move forward.. never let them take it from you. Love yourself and never give up. You are strong and wonderful and no one can make you hate yourself unless you let them. Keep your chin up and live loud and proud.
Thank you for the read. If you enjoyed this post and want to see more like it please follow me. Also you can follow my own personal journey here: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491
Thursday, August 28, 2014
Saturday, August 23, 2014
What is Cute Gay Couples?
Cute Gay Couples is a Facebook page dedicated to the promotion of healthy same sex relationships, and the joy that can be found there in. It is also a place where there is joy in abundance and a strong feeling of love and acceptance is evident in every post. My name is David Zorkocy. I am the creator of the Cute Gay Couples page on Facebook.
I created "Cute Gay Couples" when I was a teenager. I grew up in a very conservative home and was sent to a very conservative private school, where I was told I would be expelled if they learned I was gay. I struggled with extreme depression for years. I had no outlet and very little support structure. It occur to me that there were many others in a similar situation. Alone, feeling unloved by those closest to them, their friends and family. I sought to create a page where people could go for encouragement or simply to see happy couples. Often I was told that same sex relationships are dirty and perverted. I knew that in many circles this lie was repeated regularly and I sought to point it out as the fallacy that it is.
When I created "Cute Gay Couples" there was almost immediate growth. What started out as simply my outlet to be gay, quickly grew into a small community. A community of loving caring homosexuals who all had one thing in common. They wanted a relationship... the lie that all gays only care about sex and do not care about relationships, was shattered, at least for me. Once I graduated from high school I began my own personal journey of healing from the treatment of a very anti-gay crowd. I was bitter and angry. The only way I found to eventually heal was to bury myself in love. Forgiving those who had treated me so terribly and striving to love them was my goal. I admit it is still a journey but I am well on my way. As this love grew up in me, it began to spill over onto the page.
Cute Gay Couples quickly grew into a large community of caring loving people. I was confused at first about why the page started to grow so quickly but I soon learned it was the love that was in every post, whether it was in the adoring smiles and looks of passion in the couples eyes, or the posts of encouragement that are posted on a regular basis. People could sense the love and they loved it.
The concept of a loving and monogamous relationship is in no way a heterosexual right. In the conservative circles I was raised in I was taught that marriage is between one man and one woman. I was told that homosexuals were living in sin and were incapable of loving the same way that a straight married couple would. I found this concept hard to believe because I knew that I did like men in the same way my straight counterparts liked women. I couldn't believe that I was the only gay man who wanted to find his soul mate and fall deeply in love, and be swept off his feet. I guess at this point you figured out I am kind of a hopeless romantic. I was not going to let this lie continue. I was going to find love and I was going to make sure that everyone knew that homosexual love is just as pure as heterosexual love.
If there is one thing I have learned it is that being alone is only part of the journey, and that part of the journey will end. I was alone in high school. I was alone in my church. I was single. I felt God did not love me. I was at times alone in my own home. I was alone in my own life, trapped in what seemed to be a cage. An endless maze of loneliness. Yet now I am out of high school. I am more open at church. My family knows I am gay and though they are still getting used to it they still love me. I learned that my God loves me no matter my sexuality. I am still single but that's cause I am not done with my journey,in that regard. Love is a beautiful thing. It can't be rushed. It comes when it chooses and when it does it takes hold of the loneliness, the hurt, and the fear and wipes it away. Leaving only hope for the future and an abundance of joy.
I can not describe the joy that I see on the faces of the couples that submit pictures to my page. It is beyond words. It is worth the wait for sure. That is where I am... the wait. That's where many are but when the wait is over the reward is so beautiful. To have someone love you with all their heart and to love them with all of yours. It is truly magic. This magic is for all people, no exclusions. So if you are currently feeling alone. Think of me. I made it out so can you. People say it gets better... I disagree... it gets awesome!! I look forward to the day that I can post a picture of me and my future boyfriend on my page but until that day I shall wait. I shall wait with a joy in my heart and a love for both my friends and for those who have hurt me.
If you guys would like to follow the cute gay couples you may do that here: https://www.facebook.com/CuteGayCouples?ref=hl or to follow my own personal journey here is a link to that: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl Thank you all for reading my article and I hope every single one of you has a joyful and beautiful day! God bless you all and much love from me to you!
I created "Cute Gay Couples" when I was a teenager. I grew up in a very conservative home and was sent to a very conservative private school, where I was told I would be expelled if they learned I was gay. I struggled with extreme depression for years. I had no outlet and very little support structure. It occur to me that there were many others in a similar situation. Alone, feeling unloved by those closest to them, their friends and family. I sought to create a page where people could go for encouragement or simply to see happy couples. Often I was told that same sex relationships are dirty and perverted. I knew that in many circles this lie was repeated regularly and I sought to point it out as the fallacy that it is.
When I created "Cute Gay Couples" there was almost immediate growth. What started out as simply my outlet to be gay, quickly grew into a small community. A community of loving caring homosexuals who all had one thing in common. They wanted a relationship... the lie that all gays only care about sex and do not care about relationships, was shattered, at least for me. Once I graduated from high school I began my own personal journey of healing from the treatment of a very anti-gay crowd. I was bitter and angry. The only way I found to eventually heal was to bury myself in love. Forgiving those who had treated me so terribly and striving to love them was my goal. I admit it is still a journey but I am well on my way. As this love grew up in me, it began to spill over onto the page.
Cute Gay Couples quickly grew into a large community of caring loving people. I was confused at first about why the page started to grow so quickly but I soon learned it was the love that was in every post, whether it was in the adoring smiles and looks of passion in the couples eyes, or the posts of encouragement that are posted on a regular basis. People could sense the love and they loved it.
The concept of a loving and monogamous relationship is in no way a heterosexual right. In the conservative circles I was raised in I was taught that marriage is between one man and one woman. I was told that homosexuals were living in sin and were incapable of loving the same way that a straight married couple would. I found this concept hard to believe because I knew that I did like men in the same way my straight counterparts liked women. I couldn't believe that I was the only gay man who wanted to find his soul mate and fall deeply in love, and be swept off his feet. I guess at this point you figured out I am kind of a hopeless romantic. I was not going to let this lie continue. I was going to find love and I was going to make sure that everyone knew that homosexual love is just as pure as heterosexual love.
If there is one thing I have learned it is that being alone is only part of the journey, and that part of the journey will end. I was alone in high school. I was alone in my church. I was single. I felt God did not love me. I was at times alone in my own home. I was alone in my own life, trapped in what seemed to be a cage. An endless maze of loneliness. Yet now I am out of high school. I am more open at church. My family knows I am gay and though they are still getting used to it they still love me. I learned that my God loves me no matter my sexuality. I am still single but that's cause I am not done with my journey,in that regard. Love is a beautiful thing. It can't be rushed. It comes when it chooses and when it does it takes hold of the loneliness, the hurt, and the fear and wipes it away. Leaving only hope for the future and an abundance of joy.
I can not describe the joy that I see on the faces of the couples that submit pictures to my page. It is beyond words. It is worth the wait for sure. That is where I am... the wait. That's where many are but when the wait is over the reward is so beautiful. To have someone love you with all their heart and to love them with all of yours. It is truly magic. This magic is for all people, no exclusions. So if you are currently feeling alone. Think of me. I made it out so can you. People say it gets better... I disagree... it gets awesome!! I look forward to the day that I can post a picture of me and my future boyfriend on my page but until that day I shall wait. I shall wait with a joy in my heart and a love for both my friends and for those who have hurt me.
If you guys would like to follow the cute gay couples you may do that here: https://www.facebook.com/CuteGayCouples?ref=hl or to follow my own personal journey here is a link to that: https://www.facebook.com/pages/David-Zorkocy/211055175491?ref=hl Thank you all for reading my article and I hope every single one of you has a joyful and beautiful day! God bless you all and much love from me to you!
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